5 Things You Need to Stop Right Now to Improve Mental Health

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Reading Time: 4 minutes

We all realize how much COVID-19 has affected us mentally.

No doubt, a lot of people have become consciously focussed on their physical health but being stuck at home, has affected their mental health too. Mental health is the key to achieve anything that we want to. It refers to the cognitive behavior and emotional well-being. Our thoughts are expressed and define the outcome of how our mental state of mind is.

Everything is recorded in our brain signifies what we represent to the outer world. With a little effort that we put in physical efforts, with the same, mental health is also taken care of. One should not ignore how mental health affects us. During Lockdown, both men and women have been loaded with a lot of work but women are the ones who were affected more and seem to be more responsible when it comes to household responsibilities whereas they were taking care of everything from cleaning, cooking, entertaining kids, and what not during lockdown days.

Relax ladies!

 Below are 5 mentioned things that need to quit immediately.

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1. Stop Judgment 

One needs to understand that judging someone or oneself defines how we think about them and ourselves. If we judge someone, we don’t accept them as they’re. Even if we’re judged by other’s points of view, we wouldn’t like it ourselves. First of all, we need to stop this on a serious note and start accepting things as they are.  It becomes a lot easier for us to connect with the things, the people. We can relate to the person’s feelings with ease.

 2. Stop Comparing

When a child is born, he/she is born with his/her own set of skills and inherent talent. one loses his/her self-identity when he/she compares himself/herself with others. As they grow up, their confidence is boosted up by the experiences. Therefore, one should be aware of his/her specific skills and should not to compare with anyone.

If you have the confidence then it becomes a lot easier to focus on oneself instead of making the comparison with others. As we know, most of the homemaker, their work is not appreciated when compared to the women who’re working from 9 am to 6 pm. For a homemaker, her family and kids’ are her priorities. For working women, completing her regular office tasks on given deadlines would be her priority.

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3. Stop Taking Things Personally

One needs to understand that everything is not about “you” all the time. People can talk behind your back and in front but it’s your responsibility not to take the things personally but just to ignore them. You don’t need to feel insecure all the time when people are talking about you whether it's positive or negative.

It’s their problem that they’re struggling with when they talk behind your back, they may not be able to reach where you’re, they may not compete with you, they might feel jealous of you but you should train your mind to see positivity in everything and make the mind more stable.

4. Stop Overreacting

Once you’ve decided “not to take the things personally” that means you’ve decided to value yourself more in terms of self-care. You need to stop overreacting to things that are not meant for you.

It’ll help you to stay calm and more focussed on the things which you want to accomplish. Overreacting to certain things makes everything worse. Therefore, one needs to be calm and observing things silently and adapting it quietly in their life.

5. Stop Feeding Your Mind The Garbage

If one wants to feel the mental calmness, then one needs to stop feeding the mind with the garbage but feeding it with good positive thoughts. It’ll help you to be more positive and relaxed. For allowing positivity to enter, one should do positive self-talk, reading something inspiring, doing what you enjoy the most, trying something new, etc.

For example, most of the women talk about their daughter-in-law and vice-versa, talking about their kids, their husband, their families, their schedule, their life problems, etc. what are they doing? This is the way they’re feeding their mind with the garbage and stopping themselves to feel gratitude for the things they’re already blessed with.

Mental Health can be improved by focusing on things like “letting it go” which no more suits you, give your mental health a break by doing a few breathing exercises, etc.

Allow your mental health to experience something new by

reading, journaling, meditating, helping someone, and being

grateful for everything in life.

Feel free to share your views in the comment box and also

share what do you do to improve your mental health?

How to Embrace Your Emotions to Save Marriage

 

A human being is full of emotions from the day they are born. They have emotions like happiness, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shyness, and so on. Human emotions are versatile and unpredictable, and they change every moment depending on how each person handles their emotions when they’re looking to gear up with themselves. 
Let us think about a situation, where a person is happy about getting news of a job promotion but at the same point, when he gets to know about his close relative’s demise, he becomes sad. We start memorizing the best time spent with that person.

Everyone has their own set of emotions and a different style of expressing them. Many express their emotions by speaking, whereas a few express them by being silent, and some by way of massive reactions. Even animals have their own set of emotions, although they have their own way of communicating them. Emotions play a crucial role in one’s life. 

Our emotions assist us in many things, such as conveying our message or meaning, providing us with clarity, calming us during difficult times, and making life decisions. Our subconscious mind behaves the same way we would like it to be treated. Therefore, if we give it positive thoughts, it’ll have a positive impact on our health and future thoughts.

To apply this idea, let’s look at the example of a slim girl named Amira. During her college days, she was quite an introvert: she never expressed her feelings, but instead kept them to herself for fear of hurting anyone. How does she feel? What if she’s looking for someone to talk to? She did not think it would be a good idea to express her feelings. She felt that either people would blame her or that she would end up hurting them. She was not confident about what to express, how much she should express, and to whom it should be shared. 

Being a shy girl, Amira never made friends with those whom her shared emotions would be safe. She never spent enough time with her family for them to know her likes and dislikes; she never made herself understood. Instead, she kept herself busy in activities like reading books, painting, journaling, and meditation, etc.. 

Because she always tried to hide her emotions, this caused anger to build up inside her. She used to become furious at the smallest things, like when her parents asked her plan for her marriage. Despite usually being very polite to her parents, she rudely walked away.

One day, she was sitting on the balcony with her parents drinking a cup of coffee. Her parents brought up the discussion of her marriage plans and, surprisingly, this time she was already prepared for it. Yes! After a long discussion with her parents, she made up her mind. But her anger kept bothering her. “How could she manage her marriage if she couldn’t express her feelings?”

Amira thought that maybe discussing things with her partner would help her to get herself out of a place of anger. Perhaps she might find comfort in expressing her feelings. But things were the same even after marriage. Being a new daughter-in-law, her responsibilities increased: her in-laws had expectations for her, and she wasn’t able to manage her anger with her husband; she would get furious every time. She asked herself, why was she unable to share her feelings? What made her so self-conscious? Why did she feel so blank? 

One day, sitting quietly in her room, she wrote down all the questions she had in a diary. What should she do to make it right? She cried for it weighed down her heart. Crying is always the best release for emotion when one’s heart tank is full. When we cry, we make space for new, positive feelings.

Luckily, Amira found a calm and supporting life-partner with whom she was able to express her feelings. He made her feel calm and comfortable. She discussed everything about her anger with her husband. An intelligent man, he asked her to find a state of calm first and then speak out to express whatever was running in her thoughts. He helped her to solve her queries.

In doing so, Amira’s husband gave her a few suggestions:

• Write down all running thoughts
• Don’t take everything  personally
• Learn to adjust and build up interpersonal skills
• Do something productive 
• Start expressing yourself  

Amira followed all five pieces of this advice for a continuous 21 days, and guess what? She found herself transformed. Everything takes time to adapt, some more than others. For instance, internalized emotions like anger can take a while, whereas a few emotional releases like crying come naturally. 

Amira’s anger hadn't gone away, but she had learned how to manage it well. This helped her to improve her relationship with her in-laws, her parents, her friends, her husband, and, most importantly, with herself. She started loving herself more. 

In the years that followed, she learned other ways to manage her anger:

• She started focusing on what made her happy
• She started respecting everyone’s point of view
• She started being grateful  
• She started enjoying her life 
• Most importantly, she accepted herself

Now, Amira is a more mature and determined person, who takes life’s worries as challenges that she can face gracefully. She thanks God for blessing her with great in-laws, a husband, and both the parents who stood up for her every time. She was no longer overwhelmed by negative emotions; most especially, she had overcome her anger. She was able to manage it now because she wanted to. Like Amira, we can also take control of our emotions.

Emotions have a powerful impact on our minds, health, and system. So, allow your mind and heart to decide which emotions of yours you want to pamper, and which ones to put in the garbage. Let us strengthen ourselves. Most especially, we want to control our emotions in the right manner and not allow anyone to control us.

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Book Review - Just Let Them Be - Parenting

Image Souce: Amazon.in

Book: JUST LET THEM BE

Publisher: Self-published on Kindle

Author: Bala D Moorthy

Genre: Non Fiction (Self-Help)-Parenting

Pages: 153

Rating: 5*

Reading Time for the blog: 3 minutes, 6 seconds

Buy Kindle ebook: https://amzn.to/2QG1zE0

• Why are kids stubborn? 

• Why do they lack self-confidence?

• Why do you think few kids are happier and responsible than others?

• Looking for parenting advice? Are you a new parent or already in the parenting journey?

• Does it sound familiar to you?

If yes, then this is the right book for parents like me who’re looking for suggestions in the process of bringing up their children in every aspect of life like physical, mental, intellectual, and emotional. Parenthood is a big responsibility and how both parents treat their children plays a significant role in the upbringing of their kids. All the things matter when the kid is happy, if she/he is not happy then something has to be done and certain actions need to be taken.

The author Bala d Moorthy of the book “ Just let them be- an unconventional way of bringing up self-disciplined, responsible, and happy children”  has explained clearly how parents can put in their best efforts in upbringing their kids. The author is the father of two lovely daughters, lives with them and his wife in the beautiful island nation, Republic of Fiji. Being a father of two daughters, he can understand from a parent’s point of view that how they feel and what all they should be aware of in the process of parenting.

He has expressed his views on various chapters like allowing the kids the way they’re, respecting them, preaching love, traveling and being creative with life, etc. 

Sibling senses chapter explains how planning another sibling for the kid is important too and how one child helps the other child in building up togetherness, in sharing visible resources, and supporting each other in hard times.

Every new parent wants to develop a “happier kid”, they don’t want to say “no” to their kids. As explained in the book, parenting is a journey, it's not a destination. The book meets the expectations of every parent who is concerned with their kids like:

• how to teach them discipline 

• how it is essential for them

• how they can inculcate good eating habits

• how they can be strict to their school work and play schedules

• how proper sleep is important for their health.

I am inspired by the author’s words from the book, “In parenting life, one is a breadwinner and the other one is the one who cooks the bread”. Not comparing, both men and women have equal roles and responsibilities towards the upbringing of their little ones. But a woman plays a crucial role in the nourishment of their little ones in terms of the mind, body, and soul. 

One of my favorite chapters from the book is chapter no. 5  where the author depicts “recognizing individual strengths”.  

The author is asking to focus on 3 things:

1. Attitude

2. Skills

3. Knowledge

Every human is different in terms of these above mentioned 3 things. So, it applies to the kids too. They also learn and grow up in life based on their experiences and how much they explore.

As a parent of 1.5-year-old, the book has motivated me a lot and did show me a clear picture of parenting and in helping me to raise a happy kid. The author has narrated each chapter beautifully which is easy to understand. 

This is my first parenting book read whose title caught my attention equally and convinced me to start reading the book. This book is highly recommendable for the parents who are seeking suggestions on their parenting. 

Feel free to share your reviews about the book and share what best efforts you're putting in to raise a happier kid in the comment box?

Enjoy your Parenthood Journey!

Read Another book review : The Mind game

One is blessed to have a brother like you

Image courtesy: Google Images

One is blessed to have a brother like you

I was flipping through our old album pics while sipping a cup of coffee. I was wondering how time has passed in a blink of an eye. We used to hold each other's fingers and went to school.  When he used to sit on the backside of my bicycle and rush towards the school saying “come on di, move fast, we’re getting late for school.

There are unforgettable incidents when we cooked together. Undoubtedly, he makes an amazing pasta and sandwiches. I learned those dishes from him only. After my marriage, I miss those times at the dining table when he and me used to share our common dishes like having sandwiches, tea and chole bhature and our all-time favorite special lemonade prepared in soda water, etc. 

I cherish those moments when I used to plan surprise for our mother with some gifts and he used to bring them all in the excitement. We both loved to pack it uniquely and gifted to our mom. That was the feeling none other than like “an award-winning” moment when our mother appreciated our minor efforts for her.

 

How can I forget those college days when he used to pick me up? Later while coming back from office. And, of course! Not forgetting, sometimes, I made him wait for me for so long. However, he taught me how to drive a two-wheeler but my bad luck! I never showed the willingness to learn and never paid attention to it but i appreciate all the efforts done for me by him.

Time has flown up quickly. He, who was the naughtiest among all the family members, now has become a responsible one. He has turned into a mature and wiser person now to handle business responsibilities to be shared with our father and to handle household tasks. Whenever I talk to him, he is the one who advises me on how to do things and about the latest trends related to gadgets in the market.

 

He is the younger one in the family but his suggestions are being appreciated by everyone. He takes care of everyone and never misses a chance to surprise everyone and makes the environment more lively with a joyful personality.

He used to spend time with our grandfather by chatting with him, by communicating about his daily routine and life, etc. He helps Mumma in the kitchen by serving dishes and other household chores. He spends time with papa by playing guitar such as papa loves to sing and record his audio.

 

He is the one who is more excited to meet me now rather than my parents, where we share many things, and yes! We go on a drive along with my daughter who just feels excited by saying “ghumi ghumi” The last but not the least, the relationship with his brother-in-law is more like a friend, they spend good quality time whenever they meet like partying, playing cards together, playing table-tennis, and polo, etc.

He miss not even a single chance of making everyone laugh. And, this is what I really admire about him.

If there’s someone whom I missed the most after my marriage, then he is the one.

He is the one who cried the most in my vidaai, 

he is the one who missed snacks made by me. 

he is the one who missed teasing me.

Despite many fights, we still have our “attachment theory”. No matter how much we fight or argue, but in the end, we have mutual respect. As we grow up, we, the brother and the sister, have a little room in each other’s hearts. 

I wish you all the love, happiness and success in the world. May you meet the love of your life soon.

Now, Raksha Bandhan Celebrating on August 3 (Monday),2020 is the time to reflect on the bond we shared. It’s time to cherish all the childhood memories spent together.

 

It’s time to recount our blessings and to share those funny experiences with our bhabhi and Jija who’re recent additions to the family just to make them laugh. May the brother and the sister relationship be always special. 

May all the brothers and the sisters in the world share the bond always.

 

At the end, I would just like to say that Thankyou brother for everything.

 

Yes! It's been Three Years of Togetherness

Image Courtesy: Google Images

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at the phone,

 realizing it’s June 29, 2020 today.
Yes!

It's our third anniversary today. A special one because this time, 

we’ll be celebrating it with our 17 months old princess.

I got excited and was rewinding all the memories from where it all started. It still feels like our first anniversary which was full of excitement, happiness, positive vibes n blessings. 

 
Like any other girl, I was also excited about my process to find the idle boy of my life. I still remember those days when my parents asked me to be prepared to meet the boy the next day. In excitement along with the nervousness. 
 
somehow I and my family managed to prepare all my things from clothing accessories to make up etc.so many questions were in my mind like what would be their reaction after seeing me, what expectations did they have of being an ideal Indian bahu, whether I will be suitable to their family or not? but I was confident. I was prepared..because that was the time to get married and settle down. I prepared my mind for it.
 
But everything went well from the meeting point; both families interacted with each other and the boy on the first day. 
Yes! I and the boy got less time to know each other well. Thus, we decided to meet the next day at the cyber hub. We wanted to meet to discuss our future goals, likes, and dislikes, to see if we match the compatibility or not, whether we will be able to understand each other or not?
 
We are in the middle of doubts and confusion. We decided to give time and attention to each other in terms of fulfilling all the requirements to avoid any dispute or distraction in the future. We spent about 5 to 6 hrs with each other clarifying all our doubts. In the end, we both came to the conclusion but we didn't show our emotions but our heart knew it was “yes”.
 
There was a feeling that we have found our soulmate.
Fingers crossed! I always dreamt of finding my dream man who should be soft-spoken, a good decision-maker, and enjoy life to the fullest.yes! My heart knew I have found the perfect man of my dream.thanks god for showering your blessings or grateful to god.
 
After reaching home and discussing with our parents, the confirmation was done from both the families in a moment.
Our heart was beating a little faster, a new life would start by. Everyone was excited and got busy getting calls from relatives for all their best wishes. That was the moment to be cherished forever. the parents had tears of joy.
Everyone was happy.
 
This is also one of the best reasons for our parents to smile that they’re delighted because of us.
 
We had 5 months of break from the Roka ceremony to our marriage in which we got enough time to plan out everything. It was very hot but the excitement was more than heat. We continuously sipped our lemonade and allowed ourselves to enjoy the shopping, to plan for the pre-wedding shoot(on deciding the venues, costumes, props, themes, etc), mehndi functions, bhaat function, ring ceremony and the D-day I.e our wedding, everything went well as per the planning. Only a girl can understand how much courage it takes to leave her home/to say goodbye to the family with whom we have spent many years but now going into a new family and accepting their cultures for the life ahead.
 
Thanks to god.  I’m blessed with supportive in-laws who never made me realize that I'm the new member here in their family. I was provided with all the facilities and was taken care of well.
 
I always dreamt of finding my dream man who should be soft-spoken, a good decision-maker, and enjoy life to the fullest.yes! I have found the perfect man of my dreams. Thanks to god for showering the blessings upon me.
 
Everything seemed so beautiful. who doesn't love to be pampered being a new daughter-in-law who is always treated with new sweet dishes, roaming around here and there. We all knew this was the phase where we all were spending time with each other to understand and to accept the way we are. things were going fantastic.
 
Gone are those days when a sister in law was known for back bitching but nowadays they're more like a friend. so, I'm again blessed here. They’re like sisters and always make the environment happier with their presence. 
My husband and I explored many new places, restaurants, events in New Delhi in the first year of marriage and time passed away in the blink of an eye. It was our first anniversary which we celebrated in the roseate resort, nh8, gurugram. We stayed there overnight and explored it, spent time well with each other. this was again cherry on top of the cake.
Now, after the first-anniversary celebration, another fresh year started with new blessings.
yes! I am expecting by now. We're pregnant.  Everyone was overwhelmed by the news and we were nervous to be a first-time parent. how would we manage all these things, we were not sure whether it was the right time or not but with our family support we went all through it beautifully. The trimesters were mixed with different emotions but it was all forgotten once the baby arrived. yes! we're blessed with a baby girl who just looks like her papa. Hahaha!
 
Every moment is beautiful when you're with your newborn. you just look at him/her that how these tiny hands, toes, little fingers mark their presence in our lives and we feel empty without them once they enter our life. It's rightly said by someone that the blessed are those whose first baby is a daughter. This makes sense to me now when I have one.
 
Relationships are supposed to have ups and downs in our life after having a baby, we get less time to spend with the partner as more of time is being demanded by the baby. But we learn to manage it with time. both the partners and the family put an equal effort to understand each other and adjust accordingly. 
 
An anniversary is a time to cherish all the moments and the time spent together and make a fresh beginning with a new perspective. 
yes! one shouldn't forget how blessed we are with our life partner and always appreciate n count on your blessings. This anniversary is the perfect day to count on blessings, to have respect for each other, and to appreciate each other's values, accept the imperfections and ignore them.
 
let the adventure of life be enjoyed together.
“life is beautiful together”
it's okay to have a little argument but in the end, he/she is the one whom we look up to.
 
Now, my 17months  princess, she entertains us by her dancing moves, by following us, by making different voices and doing unexpected funny things. We feel blessed every day by just looking at her. My princess has planned many things to surprise my husband and her father.
Eagerly waiting to watch his reactions on our surprise!!!
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